Mental Health

Negative self-talk and depression

Recently I found myself overwhelmed by negative self-talk. The thing about it is that when it starts, it's very hard to stop it. So, what I do is I pull myself out of it by making a conscious decision to get back to my normal state, or simply the state that feels comfortable for me. If you are an overthinker, you will understand what I am talking about. You probably make those decisions all the time.

I believe for many of us it's possible to master the ability to quiet the mind, therefore we should at least try. I always say: don't give up. Keep going. You are stronger than you think. Even if something doesn’t work quite right when you first try it.

It's interesting how over the last few weeks my anxiety has transformed into this dark crippling feeling of helplessness and sadness. That's why I appreciate anxiety sometimes (never thought I would say that). It feels like you still care, whilst depression feels (to me at least) that even though I still care a little bit, I don't know how to feel better, I stop believing that it's even possible, I feel incredibly weak. I am aware of my negative thoughts, but I also know that I have enough strength to change them. It takes an effort, and it does take time. Feelings of despair tend to come and go, but they always go away. That's when we learn to remember: no pain lasts forever. 

It's not always the case that we are able to observe how we think and feel as a result of those thoughts. But when we can, it gives us an incredible advantage. It's not like depression is our enemy, but my negative thoughts are. Notice when you have them, how many more your brain is able to produce. For me it's like an unending cycle. Until I realize that what I hear is not true or real. It's my own creation, my imagination, my opinion about myself, so to speak. And if you have ever experienced a waterfall of negative thoughts in your head, it's hard not to take it seriously. It seems so real. Sometimes it's those voices we heard in our past we hear over and over again, before we realize we no longer live there anymore, everything is different. Even if those wounds never heal and those voices don't ever shut up, we can still make a conscious decision to quiet them. We can choose our reactions to those thoughts and ideas in our heads that have an ability to bring us down. It doesn't come easy or natural to many of us, and that is why I am sharing this. 

I woke up this morning with the desire to share my story, willing to move on. To learn and to grow as a human being, as well as to help those who experience same kind of struggles as I do. My message for you today and every day will be do not give up. I can see you; I know you are there, and you are not alone.