Spring is almost here, and I can't believe it's already March. Where did time go? February wasn't a great month for me in terms of mental and physical health, it had been a challenge to try to feel good and at the same time to create an interesting content.
There are times that we can be our best selves, or at least we like to think that we are, those times are productive and happy. We are full of energy and ready to conquer the world. But there are periods in our lives when nothing seems to work, and we feel like it's going to stay this way forever.
Everything in our lives is cyclical. Seasons change, weather constantly changes, and our mood changes as well. There is time to work and create and time to simply let go and... rest. Most of us can't afford months of rest, but we all can find at least some time to sit down and be mindful, be present in the moment we dedicate to rest. Whether it's an hour or a day.
Some of this time can also be used for introspection. Where am I now? How do I feel about it? What would I want to change in the future?
I'd not say it's a failure as I am talking about my health, but like I mentioned feeling mentally and physically weak is most definitely a down for me. In February I had to take more time to recover from my arm injury from climbing. It took longer than I expected but I accepted the process of healing. I still went to the gym, but just tried to be easy on my arm.
One of the worst "downs" of the month was me being stuck recording my songs. In Jenuary I decided to record an album, and even made a list of songs I would need to record. Many of us have passions that we can't quite explain, we want to pursue our goals no matter what the purpose is (even if we know that it won't lead us to fame or recognition); we basically do it for ourselves. Music has been a passion of mine since I was a kid. I love writing songs and I enjoy singing. If I hear the right music for me, I can't help but write.
Last year I wrote about ten songs and I made it my goal to let it be heard. I am not a pro, but I want to share what I create with the world. But, like I said, in February I found myself being stuck recording my creations. It happens that I don't like the sound or simply find myself overthinking everything: from me not be a professional to "what's the point". I am sure many of you can relate. Battling with myself is one of the hardest things I do daily, and not being able to do what I had planned to do and what is important for me is taken by me as a failure.
I am very proud that last month I managed to finish reading two books (as planned): "Quiet" by Susan Cane and "The love of a good woman" by Alice Munro. Despite the fact I don't usually read classic books, I found writings of Alice Munro much more captivating than "Quiet".
I learnt that having a goal like that (reading two books a month) is very anxiety provoking for me. I didn't get to enjoy reading that much, because I was hyperfocused on reaching my goal. It happens to me when there are "deadlines". I will try to find a better way to manage my time, but I am not going to give up on the goal. Despite it being extremely hard for me (I am not a natural reader), I think pushing through and being able to accomplish something every month is good for my mental strength. I believe challenging yourself is important for growth.
I wrote 8 blogposts in February, which is something I am most definitely proud of. One of them is research-based, I am glad that I was able to publish it as those articles usually take more time, but they are very informative and useful for those who are interested in psychology and mental health.
Last month I dedicated lots of time to mediation and light yoga, which significantly improved my sleep. One of my New Year's resolutions is daily meditation. I initially planned on meditating every morning but found that evening meditations are something that I am better at. I want to get to the point when I am able to meditate two times a day in the future, but for now it's evening. I find that light yoga before bed helps me relax my body and prepare for sleep. I've been loving Boho Beautiful classes on YouTube. Overall having a nighttime routine is helpful for my anxiety, and I absolutely love it.
Failures don't matter if you keep moving forward. My goal in life is not to focus on "downs" but always be grateful for "ups". I keep the track of both just to see my progress. If I am making it, I am fine.
You can have million goals but will probably achieve only a few of them, and it's ok. Maybe along the way you will understand that some of them don't even matter. It's sometimes important to sit back and think what your main priority now is.
For me it's not music, it's my mental health, so I focused on that in February. There is an explanation to our "failures" most of the times. They are hard to accept but if we know the reason "why" it's easier.
Please share your "ups" and "downs" in the comment section below, I am curious to read. Until next time on Pillows&Trees.