Where did April go? Seems like just a few days ago we wished each other a Happy New Year, wrote resolutions and were overall excited about what is to come in 2020... I guess the Universe had a different plan for us, like a world pandemic, for instance. I personally found that April has taught me a lot, not in terms of productivity but in terms of slow living - something that I was interested in for a long time, but just didn't think I could ever practice in my life. Boy, was I wrong.
It is hard to say what went wrong as I decided that I would stop being sad and sorry about the current situation and instead of thinking about the goals I set before the quarantine, I will focus on the new ones, or simply take new actions and see where they lead me.
I think last month I wasn't as productive as I wish I could have been. I didn't write as much and wasn't able to take many pictures for my Instagram (if you don't follow me there, you most definitely should). The reason for it is quite simple - I mostly spent time at home, and just couldn't make myself take my camera outside and look for "special gems" to capture. I did manage to find one, it is this adorable squirrel. Honestly, seems like me and my partner made friendship with the squirrels in our neighborhood and even started to give them names.:)
Last month I had an emotional breakdown when I let my emotions overwhelm me. I felt guilty after that, although deep inside I know I am going to have these from time to time, no matter how far I have come on my journey. I share my experience here.
Good news - in April I read 2 books, as I planned in the beginning of this year. Last month I was talking about failing to do that in March, which was something I was kind of beating myself up for. Well, this month I chose books that weren't lengthy, and I actually enjoyed reading them. It's "Hyperfocus" by Chris Bailey and "Inner Engineering" by Indian guru Sadhguru.
I had yoga sessions almost every day last month, and I can't tell you how much better I feel. I don't have pain in my back first thing in the morning, I feel more energized (I don't know if it's because my back is so much better or something else). I noticed an improvement in my flexibility and anxiety: as I am gaining more control over my body it seems like I have more control over my mind. I have also been mediating and practicing slow living.
Now, slow living is a relatively new concept for me. But I think quarantine forced many of us to actually slow down and find peace and comfort in very simple activities (mostly in our homes), as well as in the moments of doing nothing "productive", or maybe changing our thoughts about productivity. I think overall I stopped being too hard on myself and slowly am getting to know who I really am, accepting myself at the same time.
I really enjoyed my quiet walks in the mornings, time for meditation, my morning routine (coming soon). Slow living is mostly about being mindful doing whatever it is that you are doing, paying attention to details. For example, when I am walking, I try to focus on my surroundings and not to think about anything else. That way time stops and you are experiencing the present moment to a full extent.
So here is my April recap. Overall, it was a quiet month, and it looks like not much was done. At the same time, I feel very accomplished and feel like I have achieved some kind of milestone in my recovery journey. Cheers to that.