Hello, everyone. Another month has passed, and I am back with my traditional "ups" and "downs". Last month was quite interesting: it started off, I guess I can say, bad, and ended on a happy note. I am very excited to share it with you.
Traditionally let's start with downs of the month
Last month I didn't feel motivated to create pretty much anything. I would call it a creative slump, but it's probably more than that. There are many questions I could ask myself, thinking about my multiple projects, but the main one is "what's the point?" I know, it doesn't sound great, and it doesn't for me either, trust me, but I really had to learn some valuable lessons in the beginning of October. One of them is: "there is no need to force it, it will eventually pass". Fall is usually a transitional season. It's interesting, that sometimes by slowing down we can actually get our motivation back, and by being patient we provide ourselves with much needed time to heal. So, I can't say it was 100% a "down" for me. I learnt to listen to my body and mind and took some rest from creative projects and productivity.
Despite me reading a lot last month, I finished only one book, which was a memoir by Anna LeBaron "The Polygamist's Daughter". This book was recommended by one my favorite YouTubers Angela Brannif, whose memoir I read in September. I didn't like the recommended book at all, but I am glad I finished it. I also started a new book "The Fifth Season" by N.K. Jemisin. I really am enjoying it.
Last month I tried completely new medications for my anxiety. If you are new here, I don't always take prescribed medications for my anxiety disorder, but I do from time to time, when my illness starts to take control over my life. One of the medications was an antidepressant (they are often prescribed for anxiety disorders). It didn't work for me due to side effects. And another one is from the class of anxiolytics, that has been working very well for me so far. I will probably make a separate post in the future where I talk more about medications for anxiety, but here I would like to just say: do not be afraid to try medication for mental illness, it might help.
I completely understand the fear associated with it, but I also know how paralyzing anxiety or depression can be. After taking this new medication for a while I feel more energized and productive during the day. It's very freeing. I don't know how long I am going to take it, but it reminded me how it is, to feel "normal" again. It's not a miracle, and there are some other health issues I am dealing with, but anxiety is one of my main problems, and not having it during the day has been amazing.
Can anxiety be treated naturally? I guess it won't hurt to try different options and see what helps. If you read my mental health blog, you know that I constantly work on my overall health, physical and mental.
Not having anxiety gives me energy to exercise. So, in the second half of October I found myself much more active and focused. I can stay focused on the book I am reading for 2 hours, and I enjoy reading again. It's especially important cos we don't go out as much due to COVID.
I stopped feeling pressure on my shoulders and constant judgement for my inability to perform. I am happy to do even "small" chores around the house, that I used to think were not important. This year has been difficult for most of us, and I think something that is helpful to me during this time is acceptance. I have gone through all stages of grief and now I feel like I am in the place where I accept this situation as it is and "go with a flow". It's useless to be angry and deny the fact we can't go back to our normal lives right now, so I am saving this energy for something more productive.
How was your October? How's your mental health? Let me know in the comment section below. Thank you for reading. Until next time on Pillows&Trees.